My palm’s dirty little simian secret

There was a point in high school where I was interested in palm reading. I wanted to try to read my own palm, so I hit up Google (actually, it was probably Yahoo or AOL or Dogpile or some other dumb search engine I would have used at the turn of the new millennium). I realized that the lines on my left hand matched up with normal palm reading stuff (a distinct head line and heart line), but my right hand looked…messed up. There was no head line or heart line — they just mushed together into one long straight line across my palm.

I searched, “Why is there a straight line across my palm?

Answer? I have a Simian line. 

Right hand Simian line

It got its name because APES have lines across their palms. Oh, and Simian lines are super common in people who have Down syndrome. Yeah, you can imagine how excited I was to read more about my cool right hand.

I read a million different things about it, but people with Simian lines are usually really intense and have trouble separating thoughts and feelings. They all just crash together. We’re also supposed to be really lucky or really unlucky. I like to think I’m really lucky, but now that I’ve said that my head is probably going to fall off, I’m going to be on the news, and they are going to quote this very blog where I said I was lucky.

Best thing I found about Simian lines said:

“They believe the simian line gives the ability to focus on one thing, absolutely, to the exclusion of all else. It is believed that these people generally achieve and accomplish far more than most, developing techniques and inventions that will last for generations.” 

YUP. I ACCOMPLISH MAD STUFF.

Yo, palm reading people! Read my palm and tell me more about Simian lines. The Internet isn’t really that helpful on this one. I just keep finding really old ugly websites and I can’t concentrate when I’m on an ugly website.

OH! There was, however, one very important thing I found out about Simian lines during my haphazard online research: CELEBZ WITH SIMIAN LINES!

  • Hillary Clinton
  • Tony Blair
  • Robert DeNiro
  • Rainn Wilson
  • Thom Yorke

And…and…and…

  • BRITNEY SPEARS! 

Simian Sisters. That has a nice ring to it. I think it will be the name of our first song together.

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