I’m a chronic sufferer of FOMO. In case you’re not familiar with FOMO, the Urban Dictionary is here to help you:
FOMO is real and it controls my every day life. I can never decide what to do because I’m afraid that if I choose one thing, something better will come along and I will break into cold sweats for the rest of my life every time I remember the cool thing I missed out on.
This paralyzing FOMO, however, takes on a life of its own on days like today. Today is President’s Day, and while I’m super psyched about George Washington’s birthday and cherry trees and stuff, I’m really psyched about not having to go to work today.
On top of that, my husband is at work and my in-laws pulled a last minute clutch move last night — they invited my stepson to sleep over and then spend the day with them. That means that not only do I not have to go to work today, I DON’T HAVE TO CARE ABOUT ANYONE ELSE. (Except my dog. Hi, Kenny. Mama loves you.)
This scenario is where FOMO turns into major FOWADO, aka Fear of Wasting a Day Off. I have thought of millions of magical things I could do all by myself today, but I can’t make any real decisions because there’s just too much pressure to choose wisely. I don’t have another paid holiday off until Memorial Day, and everyone knows that 3-day weekend just gets dedicated to being available for random BBQs. This day is special and may never come again. Oh my god, I can feel my heart beating faster just thinking about it.
For some reason that makes absolutely no sense, this is making me feel like Dorothy in Return to Oz, the crazy scary Disney movie from the 80s with Fairuza Balk (who later went on to haunt my dreams in the mid-90s film, The Craft). Remember that scene where the Nome King made her and her friends go into his weird ornament gallery one-by-one, each one tasked with finding the Scarecrow, who had been turned into an ornament? If they chose correctly, the Scarecrow would come back to life and everything would be awesome…but if they chose incorrectly, they would turn into ornaments too. What if I choose incorrectly today and turn into an ornament?
I spent a large portion of my morning panicking about the time I was wasting, but I did decide on one thing: I made myself write this blog. I figured that if I didn’t do anything else for the rest of the day, I could at least come back to this post whenever I pleased to reflect back on the time that I did something.
But…what now? I’m putting off wrapping this thing up because then I need to make a for real decision. All I know is I have to go pickup my Peapod order between 3 and 4PM, which also means I have to drag myself outside at some point to clean off my poor car that got raped by snow. Also because right when it started to snow on Saturday night, my husband decided to do this to my car on his way in the house:
Yes, the other thousand inches of snow that fell in the next 24 hours covered his gorgeous artwork. However, I looked outside this morning and while a lot of the snow had slid off my back window, “BOOBS” remained, etched in ice. [Shout out to my neighbor for taking this picture and posting it on Facebook so I could steal it.]
Guys, tell me what I should do today. It doesn’t have to be anything major…just something that when I go to bed tonight, I smile and feel like I didn’t completely waste my day off.