Today I made the very adult decision to wear – and reapply – sunscreen. I felt proud and sad at the same time. Proud that I was being a grown up and not trying to burn myself to a crisp; sad that I was being a grown up and not trying to burn myself to a crisp.
But then something weird happened…
I GOT TAN.
For my entire life, I convinced myself that I needed to burn first, and then it would become tan after a while. No one ever told me that if I wore sunscreen, I could almost completely bypass the red horror of a sunburn and get straight to the bronzed good stuff. WHY DOESN’T ANYONE TELL ME ANYTHING?!
In the back of my mind, I know this is still not necessarily a good thing. I wore sunscreen to try and avoid the mass quantities of melanoma that are undoubtedly going to ravage my skin in the coming years…not to get tan. And I know that getting a tan, even if you’re wearing sunscreen, means that your skin got damaged. But come on…this is a baby step. Maybe when I’m 40 I will get a fancy floppy hat with a wide brim and wear long sleeves at the beach, but right now, the fact that I wore sunscreen is a damn miracle.
OH, and you know what else I’m doing when I turn 40? Botox. Can’t wait. First order of business is the scary deep wrinkle I have between my eyebrows…
Don’t worry, I’m not going to Botox my whole face. Just the eyebrow wrinkle. I plan on aging gracefully without that freak of nature staring at me.