Detachment and clarity…
I remember sitting with my counselor when I was deep in middle of my divorce thinking ‘how could one woman be so incredibly WISE about every little (and huge) thing that I’m going through?’ How is it that she always had the right thing to say? Sitting there looking so ‘together’ and beautiful and gentle and smart.
She had such a smooth way of leading me with kindness and questions into the right answer. How was it that I got there all twisted and tied up mentally and could leave 50 minutes later feeling like I had this thing whipped. On top of the world with a plan for the week… just long enough to spiral downward into the moment next week when I could sit there again and start all over.
Whether it was parents who just didn’t understand when we were children, a terrifying diagnosis, a memory of physical abuse that shatters from the inside out, a marriage that doesn’t seem to fulfill us, the infinite anxiety of parenting or those big ‘what will I do with my life questions’; life is difficult.
And it’s impossible and utterly unnecessary to do it alone.
There’s no getting around it; the only way through it is–well–through it. So why is it, really, that other’s can give us such sage wisdom when we can’t seem to dig it out of ourselves? When we’re blessed enough to be in the presence of a good listener, they can hear what’s on our mind and in our heart, hear between the words and discern with such clarity the underlying reason for our anxiety or sorrow.
But what happens if there’s no one to talk to? What happens when we’re deep in the muck and there is no helping hand available to pull us up out of there? I’ve learned something that is extremely helpful in these situations.
The answer is a good heart to heart with God. A from the heart; no holds barred big time prayer for two things: detachment and clarity. Two things that can and should be prayed for when I’m in that dark place. I try to remember that I have everything on board to make it through this thing. Not only has God given me the ability to pray for what I need, when I need it;he’s given me the grace to remember that I can do this thing. I can pray for clarity over a situation and for God to help me detach from the outcome.
If I pray for distance and peace of mind; it’s amazing how God soothes and removes the troubled thoughts and helps bring about a sweet detachment from the situation; if only momentarily when we can figure it out for ourselves.
While we’re waiting for Him to bring us one of those really good listeners; all we need to do is pray.